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For many new parents, it can be very difficult to comprehend the change in their lives. They may well have become accustomed to the idea of living together and operating as a cohesive partnership, but when children arrive this throws the delicate balance off course.

Some of these momentous changes can make a big difference to a happy marriage. Delicate adjustments are needed by both people here as they try and right the boat and this can apply whether you have had kids before, or not. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. You’ve heard the phrase, “can’t see the wood for the trees”? This is particularly apt when applied to two frazzled parents who have to just keep going! Sometimes this leads to the need for additional jobs and causes parents to become complex role players. This can often be a tricky transition and can lead to each person spending more time focusing on their new “position” than on their opposite partner. In the case of new parents, the mum may put so much effort and attention into caring for the new arrival, that the marriage may not seem so important a priority any more.

When mum is so absorbed with the new arrival, dad can feel as if he is completely surplus. In this situation, you might start to believe the mum is the one to look after the kids and step back. Subconsciously or otherwise, this may result in him backing away from the relationship as a whole, even though he thinks it is the right thing.

The most important thing for parents to do is to watch for warning signs and really understand their partner. Some of the symptoms include a quick temper, a feeling that one cannot cope and becoming irritable. Don’t dismiss any negative vibes such as this, as if left to fester small problems tend to grow large, ugly and hard to crack.

It is always best to sit down when the kids are asleep or in school and have a heart-to-heart conversation with each other. Ask yourself whether you are being reasonable and ask the other for their honest input. Remember that it is very difficult to maintain the kind of lifestyle you may have enjoyed before the children came along and understand that you now have a different set of priorities in your life.

The most important point to remember is that it will take the efforts of the team to raise the children properly and both members need to realise how much effort this will take and how it is a joint venture. When all is said and done, give each other a hug and remember that you are the leaders of the pack!

It’s not all doom and gloom You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? Plan a really nice, romantic dinner and don’t forget those meaningful, romance filled surprises, from back in the day.

Experts can often help mums with their huge challenge ahead, especially those who are still working when all this madness is going on. Generally, online life coaching focuses on real-world professional coaching, and as it is tailored toward coaching for women, it can often be a saviour when everything seems doomed.

Amanda Alexander is Director of Coaching Mums and a highly acclaimed ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms who yearn for success, balance and fulfilment. Are you a juggling mom? Download our free eBook for working moms that will give you 5 simple and instant ways to balance your life right now!